GuysterRules (guysterrules) wrote,

  • Music:

I never do this but...

I answered backawayslowly's call to be asked five questions and in return, he would ask me five. I typically resist those Quizella things of the "What kind of cloud are you?" variety and it's been well over a year since I filled out one of those random surveys meant to shorthand feelings and information. I responded to backawayslowly’s request because I’ve become interested in his career as a sketch comedy artist and having worked with a sketch group comprised of five male members, I thought I might be able to lend some advice on how to navigate the internal and external matters that will come his group’s way. Now that I’ve read his questions to me, I cringe at answering them but, you know, fair’s fair.

1. What would Billy's livejournal be like? Would he have had one? Do you think you and he would have the same LJ friends? How would his LJ friends be different?

I don’t think Billy would have the patience for Live Journal. When he wrote something, it was impetuous, short, and spontaneous. He often chided me for being “wordy.” If he were to have had a Journal, I think it would have been music-focused and he would have gravitated to people who lived for music and dancing. I think he would have signed on with my friends just to keep tabs and discover if I was saying “meanie” stuff about him or not.

2. What do you really think Bob would say to you if he was given one hour to speak with you, in English? What would you say to him, if you were given an hour to speak with him in Dog?

Bob is a very verbal dog. He rarely barks but he’s given to fits of moaning and groaning in expressive ways that led Billy and I to emulating them back to him, an effort to speak his language. I think it worked sometimes but it was hard to tell.

If he were given one hour, his first question would be what happened to Daddy and when can he see him again. He would then ask why we are living in such a strange place and when are we going home.

Speaking Dog, I would ask Bob why he isn’t eating better lately and if it’s just a matter of the change in his diet and he doesn't lke the way it tastes. I would ask him if he hurts anywhere. I would explain to him that he will see his Daddy again but only when the time is right. And I would promise him we would be back home before he knew it. I would lie and tell him he would soon be back in his backyard, playing the cookie game.

3. If you could live the life of one of your LJ friends lives for one day, with the bonus opportunity that if you liked it you could keep it, who would you choose?

This is a no-brainer. drood. He’s a gifted writer of the highest order who is at the threshold of earning a full time living doing what he loves doing – writing. He’s been in a healthy relationship for coming on fifteen years with a handsome, loving man. He is funny and compassionate, romantic and observant. And, no. I wouldn’t keep his life. I wouldn’t want to ever take that away from Vance. He’s worked too hard to have it and he deserves it.

4. You are to roll a dice with the name of a town or city on each face of the dice. Whichever city comes up, you have to live there for the rest of your life. You can pick the six cities - two must be outside the U.S. and four must be inside the U.S. The four inside the U.S. must be in four different U.S. states. Which six cities would you pick, and why?

Phew. Another easy one. Three of the four American cities I’ve already or am currently living in.

Los Angeles (Venice): Because it is the epicenter of American culture. It has really cool people and some of them are even my friends. It is the place where I have the best memories and it is, and always will be, home. There is a giddiness to the city that is often mistaken for being shallow.

New York: I loved living in New York but should I ever live there again, I will have a good podiatrist on call. New York is a city of romance and spontaneity. It also is the site of some of the best memories of my life. New York thinks it’s the epicenter for American culture and I find that kind of cute.

Washington DC: I’ve always wanted to live here even before I moved. There is so much power in this town, you can taste it. I love the scale of the city with residential neighbors folding seamlessly into retail and just around the corner, ghettos. It is a beautiful city although I find the people, in general, to be a little chilly.

Austin, TX: I love Austin because it’s not really Texas. It is far more sophisticated that it has any right to be given its geography. It is free-spirited without being cloying. It has one of my oldest friends, Bob, living there.

London: An important world capital, it is also the most exciting city across the pond. I love the weather and I love the shopping and people speak English. The working class men on the street rivals New York's for sightseeing.

Amsterdam: I’m not sure how much work I’d ever accomplish in Amsterdam but I would have a hell of a time finding out. It is picture perfect Europe; a city you think Europe should look like. They have teeny-tiny staircases and hashish is legal. My oldest friend in the world lives there and they also speak English.

5. When are you coming to San Francisco, dammit?

The trickiest question of all. Um, I don’t know? Unless I can come up with a good pitch that can only be done in San Francisco and I get it sold, business will probably not take me there. My old friend, Harry Lit, lives there and I would love to see him. I'd love to meet you and see UBW perform. But at this new job, time-off needs some sort of agenda behind it and I’m not certain SF is on the short lost.

Et tu, Dave?

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