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Sing With Me If It's Just For Today...
If I should fall behind, Guyster, wait for me.
Breakfast is served
The sweet cream relief of routine and the sanctity of schedule are starting to creep back into my life and not a moment too soon. Although I live in a large apartment building, its community feels small, almost intimate. The elevators provide an equalizer and its function encourages fellow riders to acknowledge one another. Most of us have just moved in, it being a new building, and many have dogs. Someone inevitably stoops to pet Bob and conversation flows. It’s friendly and it is certainly welcome.

Every morning, a spread of bagels, danish and toast along with orange juice and coffee is served in one of the common areas off the lobby. The plasma screen plays The Today Show and I’ll grab a Washington Post from the stack, eat some raisin toast and have a glass of juice before I head off to work. I see the same people everyday, on the same timetable and I can gauge, without even a glance at my watch, whether I’m running late or not.

The tall and beautiful librarian-type, who introduced herself today as Betina, could shake that tightened hair loose from its confinement, take her glasses off and she would steam up the windows. I always see the chick from LA who moved in the same week as me, on my floor, and who loves Bob. She’s so way totally Beverly Hills but now, displaced, she seems sweet and accessible. There’s a nervous little wiry guy, bearded and bespectacled, that flirts with me, usually asking me what he should have for breakfast. I oblige, mixing up his meal so he doesn’t eat the same thing all the time. I like to keep him off-balance. Even when I tell him to eat nothing but the apple crisps, he follows his orders.

Invariably I also see Triple H, not the famous wrestler but the Hairy Hunky Homo. In his early forties, he has cold eyes, downcast around me in fear I might (fill in the blank). This behavior is nothing new in the gay world; in fact it’s endemic. I’m certain I don’t understand it. Is he afraid I’ll find him attractive (I don’t) and he would have to momentarily deal a silent rejection? Does he believe he’s too attractive (he’s not) to acknowledge others in his orbit? Is he just too shy (I doubt it) to endorse conversation?

I’d vote for doors number one and two. Triple H is simply too good to bother returning a simple nod to a good day. He’s about my height, balding and muscled. Only the second trait I find physically attractive but it wouldn’t matter how bubbled that ass is, it’s those blank eyes that are the real problem. His face registers neither kindness nor compassion. He has no dog in him. Without a dogface and dog eyes, he’d never register in my pants. He doesn’t know that, of course. He’s so used to other men fawning over him, he blows right through the niceties of kinship and soldiers through to the next conquest.

I admit it. I’m Gomer Pyle in the city. I say hello to everyone. I really always have, even meeting people’s eyes while passing them on the street and giving a nod. I’m friendly, or rather polite, that way. I enjoy a certain power that accompanies good manners and I’ve learned to use it well in business as well as my day-to-day activities. Hot or not, you’re gonna get the same smile from me.

I feel like taking Triple H aside and saying, “Honey, calm down. If you loosen the grip you have on your vanity for just a moment, you might have a better life.” But some things people have to find out for themselves.

Current Music: CNN

7 comments or Leave a comment
fabulist From: fabulist Date: October 2nd, 2003 07:59 am (UTC) (Link)
The "Gomer" bit is all too familiar--all my Queer-Eye-prototype friends in NYC get irritated with me for saying "howdy" to everyone, looking up all the time, and giving money to panhandlers, but I'm sorry, I'm just not gonna get all creepy-hard and lifeless, even in Gotham. Mind you, I have found, to my embarassment, that New Yorkers don't appreciate the friendly gesture of strangers turning their dangling shirt tags back under without being asked, especially the women, who seem to see it as the foreplay to a particularly vicious rape attempt. Sheesh, give me "Bawlmer" any day...
among_the_stars From: among_the_stars Date: October 2nd, 2003 09:01 am (UTC) (Link)
I say hello to everyone. I really always have, even meeting people’s eyes while passing them on the street and giving a nod.

I'm the same way. Always have been. Back home and here in Cali, when you smile at someone on the street or say hi you get a smile and a hello back....

When my friends Tim and Cyndi came out here from CT, they couldn't stop talking about how nice and friendly people were. They kept telling me how rude everyone is over there.

I went over there last May and NO ONE smiles back!!! They all just STARE like you're crazy! hahahahaha
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: October 4th, 2003 05:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Even though we sometimes get no immediate pay-off to being nice. it still feels right, doesn't it?
ruralrob From: ruralrob Date: October 2nd, 2003 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey, Gomer Pyle in the city. I really hope you stay that way . . .
ubermunkey From: ubermunkey Date: October 2nd, 2003 12:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
damnit that is great man I can see you telling the bearded bespectacled dude what to eat and having him follow ORDERS?... that is too funny.

Triple H may just be so incredibly turned on by you that he can't deal with the thought of your not loving him?

I had this scenario in school with "the great white goddess!" She was a moody artist who had this kick ass hair down to her bum, she was obsessed with DURAN DURAN, as I was. In art she'd sketch all the band members in charcoal or pencil. Really great detail, almost life like. I wanted to worship her, I'd fall mute if she was in hearing range of my voice, I'd suddenly forget how to put one foot in front of the other, forget how to breathe normally. She was intelligent and classy and dark and god everything I pictured as beautiful. Always in boots and black, and gray clothes. I knew I was gay even then but for some reason Great White Goddess was my epitomy of hot.

Maybe to Triple H you are the same. Maybe you are his great white GOD?

at any rate I had a great time reading your entry. awesome!

be well and give bob a woof for me.

that dog people thing I loved as well great writing. I mean it is just a part of someone, the open love you lick you type thing, or it isn't and they don't get it, and if they don't get it there is just no teaching them that. Not even by injection.
pinkrose70 From: pinkrose70 Date: October 2nd, 2003 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love this part:

"I oblige, mixing up his meal so he doesn’t eat the same thing all the time. I like to keep him off-balance. Even when I tell him to eat nothing but the apple crisps, he follows his orders."

Sounds like an interesting place to live for you and Bob now, in such contrast to your place in Venice. Seems rather like a hotel (in a positive way)

How accomodating that there is a breakfast spread, stack of Washington Posts (what I wouldn't give for one of those with Hecht Co. ads :)

Glad you're feeling part of the "community" and routine.

Anne in Sherman Oaks
Where it's 60 degrees (yay!) and was only warm for a few hours in the sun today. Fall's arrived.
shawnsyms From: shawnsyms Date: October 3rd, 2003 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I wish I was more friendly to people I don't know. It may in part be stereotypical Canadian reserve, but I'm also really shy until I get to know someone better. However, I do believe that friendliness and positive feelings are meant to be shared, not kept inside as much as I do. Smiles are infectious.
7 comments or Leave a comment