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Reality Check - Sing With Me If It's Just For Today...
If I should fall behind, Guyster, wait for me.
guysterrules
guysterrules
Reality Check
These past few weeks have been ripe with possibilities of great new reality television.



Amazing Race 4: Still the king, this season has vapid models, a chisled but vapid gay married couple from the Hills of Beverly (side note: anyone who lists Beverly Hills as an address is off my Christmas card list), a great air traffic controllers team and of course, a team of circus clowns who have yet to emerge with the promise of well, clowning. This show is the centerpiece of my weekly television intake.

Crime & Punishment: Easily the best of the Law&Order series, this one is gritty and has a great mean ole judge. Last night's episode was awesome with a dumb-ass murderer defending himself. It was pathetic and funny. What was that series last year, in the same vein, that let us into the jury room? That was a great show.

The Real World: Paris: It's already much better than Vegas which was nothing more than seven drunk people fucking each other in different combinations. This one has a mixed-race Beverly Hills (there we go again) brat who is already out of control. I also love the skinny, smartly dressed little Irish gay guy who looks like he could break in half just standing there. I want to see him and BH boy mix it up. Let the baguette fights begin!

Road Rules: South Pacific: Thank you for casting the cute Montana boy who apparently has never been around women who actually opened their mouths other than to suck his dick. His "Aw shucks, women are good for only one thing"-attitude is going to send even the neediest of the girls on a rampage. Plus the chubby black guy has already had his fill of this Montana cracker.

For Love Or Money: Cruel in concept and not bad in execution. Besides the uninspiring casting of host Jordan Murphy, this show will play as one long sadistic joke on the dolt who is the centerpiece. He's a defense attorney so sympathy points for him are automatically lowered. Plus cat fights. I love cat fights.

Fame: The only watchable element is the dreamy Joey Fatone, the
paunchiest and most unlikely boy band member ever. I love watching him stumble
over the easiest sentences and the dirty side-glances he gets from the evil Debbie
Allen. I don't care how skinny Carnie Wilson gets, she's boring.

Upcoming:

Last Comic Standing: Having just cast many of its participants on the show I am working on, I have an invested interest in this one.

National Lampoon's Funny Money: Game Show Network's foray into comedy,
the show is good, the host impeccable and the most of the talent not bad. Given the speedy credit crawl on all of GSN's series, it's doubtful you'll see my name unless you digitally slow it down and stand really close to the TV screen.

The Osbornes: I think I've missed the first episode so TiVo needs to catch me up.

Big Brother 4(?) 5(?): Another great show but is a complete slave to its casting.

Non-reality shows:

The Wire: One of he unsung great shows of last season on HBO, the first episode was strange but given it's complexity, it is worth watching and waiting to see where they take us.

Monk: I love this show and cannot wait for its return. It is amiable, gentle and stars one of the sexiest men on the planet, Tony Shaloub.

Current Mood: like a fly on the wall
Current Music: the hum of fluorescent lights overhead

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Comments
raptusanxieux From: raptusanxieux Date: June 9th, 2003 09:28 am (UTC) (Link)
You know, I'd probably be more inclined to watch reality shows if I wasn't watching them alone. I need somebody to Mystery Science Theater them with. The same goes for scary movies, which most of the time are hilarious with the right sassy friends.

I saw something on Oxygen last week that gave me hives. It was called Meow TV, but it was more like YOW TV. Very painful to try to watch. Great idea to have a tv show for cats, but cats don't like tv so much.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: June 9th, 2003 09:31 am (UTC) (Link)
You mean the program is for cats? To watch? Do the cats talk on the show like when they give them peanut butter to move their mouths with someone narrarting?

Oy. Only on Oxygen.
raptusanxieux From: raptusanxieux Date: June 9th, 2003 12:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

It is apparently for the cat to watch. They had squirrels running through, and cat poems, and cat yoga. The cat yoga was actually kind of funny, because some of the positions cats get into are yoga-like. The hostess was annoying, sort of a Kathy Griffin wanna-be.
The peanut butter reminds me--somebody once told me that they used string to make Mr. Ed "talk". That just seems so wrong.
fabulist From: fabulist Date: June 9th, 2003 09:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Funny you should mention reality shows, since I was thinking of writing a pitch for one. Now that PBS has fallen to the reality hordes, I've been thinking it might be nice to pitch "1983 House" as the next big intellectual diversion. Put 2 spoiled modern families into a suburban 1983 townhouse and watch the fun begin--can Mr X balance his checkbook on a Commodore 64? Can Mrs Y cope with talking on a telephone with a cord? How will our protagonists get by without salad in a bag, sun-dried tomatoes, microwaves with turntables, or email? Tune in next week!
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