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My first entry - Sing With Me If It's Just For Today...
If I should fall behind, Guyster, wait for me.
guysterrules
guysterrules
My first entry
It's Sunday. Sunday is code for BAD DAY cause it is the last time I saw Billy alive on Sunday, January 20th. I am spending this Sunday with Bob, our dog, who is slepping behind me. After that, my friend Scott is coming over, we're ordering pizza and watching the TV self-congrat fest of the Emmys.

I went out to Rose Hills where Billy is buried and brought him a huge bunch of eucalyptus and wrote a few poems. I go out to Rose Hills twice a week.

I'll start putting the poems on here. They are shamelessly sentimental, sometimes sad and very influenced by Bruce Springsteen. In other words, they come from MY heart because I am all three of those things.

I am an avid TV watcher and especially love any reality show. I am currently addicted to BB3 and last night's episode was shocking and, for me, a happy event. As long as Lisa gets the final prize, I'll be fine.

I'm looking forward to this forum. I'm not sure who, if anyone, reads these entries. It would be great to have someone read them and create a dialogue. It would be great to meet someone who actually understands what it means to lose the love of your life in a blink. While I have great friends, most, if not all of them, don't have a real clue what I am going through. That said, I thank God every day for the love and support that my friends do give me.

Current Mood: sad sad
Current Music: You're Missing by Bruce Springsteen

4 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
explosivo From: explosivo Date: September 22nd, 2002 04:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm here, and I think if you add keywords like grieving to your "Interests" and then click on that word and see the names of people whose LJ's also list those words, you may find yourself reading other LJs that you will identify with.

I've loved you and cared about you for far too many years to count, and anything that helps the process is just fine by me.

XXX,
Marc
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: September 23rd, 2002 02:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ah Marc

I read your comment to me as well as your public post on your journal. It means the world to me to hear those sincere words of support and love from you. We have been through so many things together over so many years that you are truly a great friend in the strictest sense of the word. The fact that both you and Jeff came to Billy's wake was so moving because I knew how much you didn't want to be there but you came for me. That means a whole lot, buddy.

I'm still new at navigating this site but learning. But the dynamic of the site folds perfectly into my life and I have already had one person reach out and write to me. That is awesome!
wonderboynj From: wonderboynj Date: September 22nd, 2002 04:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

Welcome to LJ.

My name's Brian, and while I don't know how hard it is to lose a partner instantly, I did lose my grandmother (also my best friend) that quickly, it devastated me for quite a while. It took a long time to get to the days when I would smile when I thought of her, instead of cry.

I also worked in hospice for some time.

The guys on LJ are great, mostly, I've found. It's a great forum for expressing your thoughts, while getting some feedback from others on them.

Hugs and welcome
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: September 23rd, 2002 09:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey Brian:

It was so cool logging on and seeing your comment. I really didn't know who or how people would find my journal and then have the patience to read it.

I am really sorry to hear of your Grandmother passing. My Grandma passed away 15 years ago. Growing up as an only child in a house where neither parent really cared, my Grandma was the only one in my formative years who gave me strength and support. No one is like your Grandma in your life.

I really appreciate your comments and kindness. I think this LJ thing could be really cool for me. Now I have to expand my profile and make this place a habit.

Take care, Brian, and thank you.

Terry.
4 comments or Leave a comment