GuysterRules (guysterrules) wrote,
GuysterRules
guysterrules

Not even a sad elephant can bring the rain

The video was brief and shaky, a cell phone taking it with the unsteady hand of excitement. The elephant was butting its head against a towering palm in the median strip of a busy tànon yài . He––or she, it was hard to tell from the angle of the video––had just stomped the head of his trainer and escaped the circus; years of abuse and isolation let loose on the evening news.
*
Work has been as unsteady as ever, and while the conclusion is in sight, I’m fatigued from auditioning for a job I’ve had for four years. I put out feelers to some key agent friends, people who know what’s going on in the job market, and one set me up for an interview with the masters who bring Americans Wife Swap and The Two Coreys. I suck in an interview and this was no exception. After the president of the company did a hard sale for me on their future, I told him I wasn’t really looking for a new gig and thanked him for his time. Like the needy bumbling asshole I am, though, I hedged and on my way out, I said how much I enjoyed watching the Coreys. Too bad that it hadn’t aired yet.
*
All New Mega-Doppler 7000, our local ABC affiliate’s weather-predictor showed that the next seven days will be 83 with a low of 66, every single day. Each panel on the 7-day forecast showed a yellow sun with a wispy little cloud nudging its lower left. I’ve been looking for that cloud, but it has yet to appear.
*
On the flight back to Los Angeles from Montreal, I scored an aisle bulkhead seat. That would’ve been a primo seat had it not been for the guy to my right sneezing and snotting for five hours, or the Indian woman who decided that crouching next to me, using my armrest, and yammering to her teenaged daughter in a loud, clipped voice was acceptable airplane behavior. I had to tell her to go sit in her own seat, which earned me a dirty look, yet she continued her conversation in a stage whisper. When I involved the flight attendant and the woman was forced to go back to her place, her husband, who was sitting directly behind me, spent the next three hours kicking the back of my chair.
*
The news anchor said that the elephant had been wrangled and returned to the circus. Even for the most noble of animals, sometimes there’s just no escape.
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