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Sing With Me If It's Just For Today...
If I should fall behind, Guyster, wait for me.
Lasting images
The entire video only has about thirty-eight minutes of footage of Billy, most of it taken during our trip to see the Rose Parade floats the day after New Years.

The scenes here at the end of the tape are remarkable only in how completely ordinary they are––me pestering Billy while he reads the paper, the two of us fawning over Bob who's recovering from a pulled tooth, Billy on the couch with Bob, the two of them hugging on the top landing of the back house, Mickey telling Billy about a mouse under our sink, and the final shot of Billy saying, "See you soon."

All of this video here was taken during our last week; the last scene was shot on the day before .


18 comments or Leave a comment
From: inkprincess Date: January 22nd, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much for sharing this!! It's wonderful.


I love your voice, btw! :)
creactivity From: creactivity Date: January 22nd, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love the daily life aspect of this - what fantastic moments to have captured. Isn't it the ordinary, daily life moments you miss the most? So glad you had that video camera to help you retain a visual, speaking moving memory of Billy and Bob.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: January 22nd, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're right, of course. The most mundane moments of our life are the ones that I miss like crazy.
shawnsyms From: shawnsyms Date: January 22nd, 2007 07:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Billy and Bob together are precious and adorable. It's quite something to see someone in motion who you have read so much about. Thanks, T.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: January 22nd, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm afraid I've done a very poor job of capturing Billy in words. I always seem to make him come off childish.

I have to work on that.
ridiculicious From: ridiculicious Date: January 22nd, 2007 08:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aww that made me tear up. Those mundane moments are part of what make relationships the best.
fabulist From: fabulist Date: January 22nd, 2007 10:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know, I thought of the image of Billy sitting at the top of those steps with Bob every time I went up and down there, trying to pack up a whole life with the love and care that it deserved, and I never felt it more than the moment when I stood in that same spot, staring up into the sunshine as a whole squadron of beautiful old DC-3s flew out of the blue. My grandmother used to tell us about the first time she ever saw airplanes, flying low over the scraggly woods in Colgate Creek, and how she ran, screaming, "Mama! There are angels up there!"

I stood in the same spot, watching angels, and they've been circling me ever since.

Don't ever forget how lucky you are, Terry. I know I won't.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: January 23rd, 2007 02:46 am (UTC) (Link)
I treasure that shot of Billy and Bob, my family. And I never forget how lucky I am, but it's really hard not to be as sad as I was once so happy––an impossible balance, sometimes.
fabulist From: fabulist Date: January 23rd, 2007 03:20 am (UTC) (Link)
It's less a balance than a canceling out, if you put the two against each other. Be happy, as happy as you were, and celebrate what he brought to you, and what he brought out in you, and be the man he found in you, and be sad, too, and mourn and remember and feel as deeply as you learned to feel because he believed there was more to you than what you thought there was.

Billy was right about you, Terry, in all the best ways.

Don't forget that, now or ever.
quuf From: quuf Date: January 23rd, 2007 02:33 am (UTC) (Link)
I saw the globe.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: January 23rd, 2007 02:41 am (UTC) (Link)
My most prized possession. You're gracious for noting it.
From: ex_hotlavamo352 Date: January 23rd, 2007 04:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Billy is fucking hilarious. You two are my favorite.
littlezen From: littlezen Date: January 23rd, 2007 08:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Really, it is all so beautiful.
nodressrehersal From: nodressrehersal Date: January 23rd, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
A few years ago,I lost a childhood friend whom I loved immeasurably. I have one photograph from our youth, many more recently when I relocated her to be near me so I could act as an advocate in her life.

But I only have one brief snippet of video, taken at my parents' 50th anniversary party; and with that snippet, only a few seconds of her voice.

Take good care of this wonderful memento; maybe make a copy and keep it somewhere separate and safe. I know the video isn't the memories, but still, there he is, and that's what he sounds like...
backawayslowly From: backawayslowly Date: February 4th, 2007 07:23 am (UTC) (Link)
As someone that didn't know you when Billy was alive, someone who met you through this journal...watching this is like seeing a film adaptation of a book I've read, shot in a place I've visited before...a peculiar experience.

Thanks for sharing this little piece of love with us.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: February 4th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for watching it, Dave. It's peculiar for me, as well. When I watch it, I am there, and happy again.
ubermunkey From: ubermunkey Date: March 3rd, 2007 12:05 am (UTC) (Link)
god damn that is kind of gut wrenching babe
in both the best and worst possible ways

grrgoyl From: grrgoyl Date: August 1st, 2007 12:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Since I hate having LJ friends that never actually speak to me, I'll jump in here.

LJ is screwed up in the way it shows entries backwards. I was going to comment on this video, the cuteness of your dog and Billy. It was only after reading the previous post I realized the sad purpose behind sharing this video.

For what it's worth from a stranger, I'm sorry for your loss. 12 years can feel like a lifetime, but it shouldn't substitute for one.
18 comments or Leave a comment