September 27th, 2002

ledbetter tat

Gay homework

Yesterday I went to my gay therapist. Since March, I have been involved in three different therapies.

One is my grief support group, which is fantastic. It is a group of seven men and women in their 30s and 40s who have just lost their spouse. Each person in that group has become a friend and it is an amazingly supportive environment.

The second therpaist is a crisis counselor. She is an unbelievably beautiful and stylish French woman (think Audrey Hepburn) with a very thick accent. Often times I would have to finish her sentences because she couldn't find the English word for what she wanted to say. She was also very assertive and that was great. I had many revelations in her office. But I left her a month ago because I could no longer afford her.

The third therapist is a young gay man who also lost his partner last year. I sought out a gay therapist because I needed to speak with someone who really understood the dynamic of two men loving one another. He's great and his common experience and wisdom are immensely helpful.

Yesterday he gave me homework. The gayest homework I have ever gotten. He told me to rent "Steel Magnolias" and watch how Sally Field deals with the loss of her daughter. Specifically he wants me to watch those around Sally and how they deal with it so differently than her.

Our discussion was about how I sometimes feel like I'm the only one grieving. I often find myself in a group of people who loved Billy, and I will be the only one crying. I hate crying alone. Why don't they cry too? It has bothered me for a while.

His point is I had a unique relationship with Billy and not every one will grieve in the same way as I do or with the same intensity. Fair enough.

So I will rent the film and see it through different eyes as I have not seen the film since its release.

Coincidently, Julia Roberts just moved around the corner from us in Venice. She lives on the street that Bob and I walk every day and night. I understand she also has a black lab puppy so Bob and I go on Julia sightings. I know Bob, being a senior black lab, would love to meet her puppy, and me? I would love to meet Julia.

Last night I watched West Wing (I had it Tivoed) and as always, the show has a knack for making me cry (what doesn't these days?). I also watched Survivor and, once again, my favorite tribe had to kick out one of their own.

Today is a slow day in business so I'm going to clean the house a little and get ready for our trip tomorrow. My friends, Scott and Mickey, are driving up to Hearst's castle for the weekend.
  • Current Music
    Everything I Own - Boy George
ledbetter tat

(no subject)

Just got back from dinner with Ricky and Tommy. I made a Kelly Clarkson CD for Tommy (he asked for it - believe me it wasn't my idea). Bob is already snoring so it's time to take him downstairs to bed, snuggle up to him and hope for sleep to come easily. It's an early day tomorrow.
  • Current Music
    anything but A Moment Like This