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The telephone - Sing With Me If It's Just For Today...
If I should fall behind, Guyster, wait for me.
guysterrules
guysterrules
The telephone
phone



It is probably the longest, most intimate relationship I’ve ever had. It’s one with which I’ve made my living, its body changing from princess to precise, and while I freely abuse it, I never challenge its power.

We had a rocky start, which culminated in a physical fight with my mother when I was sixteen. Newly divorced, flexing parental muscles that’d never been exercised before, she tried hanging up my phone while I was talking to a friend. I “broke” her arm, or so she said when she rode into court in a wheelchair, her arm in a cloth sling. I didn’t break her arm anymore than she needed the chair, but still the judge ordered me out of the house.

The phone was more than a weapon warding off drug addled parents, though. It became a toy in college, one that allowed hours of drunken prank calls. It wasn’t until I reached Hollywood, a fresh face looking to get dirty, that the phone turned into a money machine. They’re a hustler’s best friend, and for about a year, my phone rang with hungry men, cash burning their pockets.

After I finished sucking cock for cash, I began a legitimate career as a talent agent, a job that forced me to become a telephone bottom, always there to service its insatiable needs. While in talent agency boot camp, otherwise known as working for a series of abusive bosses, I learned one very important lesson that sticks to this day—always return calls.

That was twenty years ago, and while I'm no longer an agent, I’ve yet to break the ties that tethers me to the phone. Now I’m one of those assholes you see walking along with a teardrop dangling from my ear, yapping in my own world, oblivious when people stop and ask me what I’m saying to them. I point to my ear, mouth “Phone,” and walk right on by.

I love the telephone, however, the sustenance that drives me forward, connecting me to anyone or anything I need. Just last night, I put my earpiece in and dialed a familiar number. It took four rings for it to pick up, and there he was:

“Hi, 391-3555. This is Bill. Thanks for calling. Leave a message and I’ll call you back. Thank you very much.”

I imagined that phone ringing all by itself in our guesthouse back in Venice. I left a message, as some of Billy’s friends often do, and I told him that I loved him and I would be home soon. I’ve kept that number alive because, well, sometimes I just need to hear his voice.

For that reason alone, I’ll always love the telephone.

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21 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
creactivity From: creactivity Date: April 30th, 2005 01:40 am (UTC) (Link)
You undo me.
From: fuck_isms Date: April 30th, 2005 01:47 am (UTC) (Link)
How'd you become a talent agent? That transition was kind of...abrupt.

The telephone only has magic if the other person loves it (or you) as much as it (and them), I've found.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 02:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Abrupt within the context of this short essay, yes, but I was cunning enough to get into the ICM trainee program (something I've wanted to write about in the worst way, and will soon), spent a year in the mailroom, another year reading scripts for agents, and two years on the chieftain agent's desk.

It was anything but abrupt.
stutts From: stutts Date: April 30th, 2005 05:47 am (UTC) (Link)
...on the chieftain agent's desk?
quuf From: quuf Date: April 30th, 2005 01:47 am (UTC) (Link)
There's a delicious little exchange in Now, Voyager, where Charlotte's upright-but-dull American suitor leaves her house after a party. "May I telephone you?" he asks. "Of course," she answers.

I love hearing the full word used as a verb. Makes me want to pick up the handpiece of my 1937 Western Electric and make a call, even if just to check the time.
clintswan From: clintswan Date: April 30th, 2005 01:53 am (UTC) (Link)
hate you

that nearly choked me
From: avagabond Date: April 30th, 2005 02:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Hello, I'm new to your journal (sort of) and I haven't commented, so I just wanted to say hello and I really enjoy your posts.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, and welcome aboard.
ladycakes From: ladycakes Date: April 30th, 2005 02:34 am (UTC) (Link)
oooh...I like the phone in the picture.

I would also like more sordid stories...because I'm dirty.
(Deleted comment)
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. That's why I'll never give up this number. Never.
munkypham From: munkypham Date: April 30th, 2005 04:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow. Great entry. A little shocking, mainly because I'm quite new to your LJ.

perfectlylegal From: perfectlylegal Date: April 30th, 2005 05:58 am (UTC) (Link)
God, don't do this to me.

I just finished watching "A Star is Born" (yeah I know I'm cheesy) and I'm already feeling on the verge of tears as it is.

I wish I could capture emotions like you do.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 08:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
If you can cry at A Star Is Born, you're more than capable of capturing emotion.

Which version did you watch?
perfectlylegal From: perfectlylegal Date: April 30th, 2005 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
The 1976 version with Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand.

I'll admit I have a soft spot in my heart for Kristofferson and Babs is alright in my book too.
fairy From: fairy Date: April 30th, 2005 10:34 am (UTC) (Link)
I love this entry...

Back when I had an answering machine that took cassette tapes (this is going back 15 years) I used to tape record all of my messages...not knowing whose voice I would want to hear years later. What I would do to find at least one of those tapes. You start to forget what loved ones used to sound like...well, you can hear it in your head, but miss hearing it in your ears.

guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sound is almost as important as smell for the memory. If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can have both.
(Deleted comment)
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
They're a trap. Be careful!
spigotmd From: spigotmd Date: April 30th, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
That is a great story.
backawayslowly From: backawayslowly Date: April 30th, 2005 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
when you get back to CA, I can't wait to visit your house.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 30th, 2005 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
You are so invited.
cricketshay From: cricketshay Date: May 1st, 2005 07:10 am (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*
21 comments or Leave a comment