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Blank pages in a marble palace - Sing With Me If It's Just For Today...
If I should fall behind, Guyster, wait for me.
guysterrules
guysterrules
Blank pages in a marble palace
My trip to Los Angeles on Monday was unexpected and welcome. Our publicity department called me Friday afternoon, asking if I would mind going to tend to our newest and biggest star for our second largest network. Um, no. I’d get a chance to see some friends, rack up frequent flier mileage, participate in a large-scale network event, and stay at the Beverly Wilshire, the hotel that served as the backdrop for Pretty Woman.

I hopped into Mickey’s midnight blue PT Cruiser ragtop after a smooth flight, as smooth as anyone can feel stuck in a middle seat in the back row for five hours. She called me a homo, screamed out the driver’s window that she loved cock, told me that she going to pee on the floor of the hotel lobby once we got there. I was home, all right.

When I checked in, they didn’t have my room ready. “Would you mind if we upgraded you to a one-bedroom suite?” Um, super no. When Mickey and I threw open the door, well, golly, it was spectacular. The foyer was large enough for a bachelor to comfortably live, the living room bigger than my apartment, the bedroom had a fainting couch, and a cavernous marble bathroom where I expected to find Julia soaking in a bubble bath.

“Holy shit, dude.” Mickey, never short of words, summed up my reaction nicely while I ran my hand across the vast walnut desk that was part of the bathroom, placed there, no doubt, when the need for emergency correspondence happens after a shower, the kind that can’t wait until you towel off and make it to the mahogany bureau in the living room.

Monday night after dinner some of my colleagues, all of whom were wearing vaginas, and I milled around the lobby when a tall Asian man entered through the door, galloped right up to me with a discomforting purpose, and handed me a wrapped package. “Please accept this with kindness,” he bowed, walking off without a moment’s pause.

The girls were excited with “Open it!”s and “What is it?”s and “That was weird”s. I peeled back the striped paper to reveal a sketchbook, each page a blank slate. Once they saw what it was, the tide turned into a chorus of “How come you got it?”s and “God, that is soweird!”s. I clutched the book until I went back to my room where I just stared at it for a while before nestling it back into my luggage.

Yesterday, the day of the event, I stood outside waiting for my charge to arrive. I’d already eaten breakfast, read the L.A. Times, heard about the white smoke, my opposable thumbs working overtime on my Blackberry. A spidery man rushed past me, snapping his fingers to one of the valet parking attendants. The man weighed about a hundred pounds, wore skintight jeans, and his hair was a large grim gray halo that made his head so large, he could have easily toppled over with a small gust. He turned toward me for a second, and only HR Giger could’ve designed that scowl. It was Larry King. He did a little skip before getting into his Cadillac, and sped away.

My celebrity showed up, showed the gathering why he was a star, why we paid him so much money, and he left. On the flight back to DC last night, I opened my bag and took out the sketchbook. I was too tired to disturb it. I left the pages the pristine blanks that I received. I held it and wondered who the Asian man might’ve been, why he thought I needed a book of empty pages, and what I could fill them with.

I drifted off to sleep until we landed, waking only to clutch the sketchbook from falling onto the floor as the wheels touched the ground.
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Comments
soul_spider From: soul_spider Date: April 20th, 2005 05:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

What a beautiful mystery.
brianrdu From: brianrdu Date: April 21st, 2005 02:49 am (UTC) (Link)
*hilarious*...seriously...this killed :)
brianrdu From: brianrdu Date: April 21st, 2005 02:51 am (UTC) (Link)
OK wait...I thought you wrote "What a beautiful mystery" about Seth and his dead iPod (dying on that Ani DiFranco song) and not about Terry's post...I guess this means I need to lay off the sauce. Cheers!

Hahahahah...sorry, y'all!
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 02:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, J.

Larry King's hair was certainly mysterious.
grrtigger From: grrtigger Date: April 20th, 2005 05:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's a really cool present. Some number of years from now you'll be able to look back through and see what you've filled it with.
cricketshay From: cricketshay Date: April 20th, 2005 05:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
all of whom were wearing vaginas Wonderful line!

I am intrigued by the asian. Clearly he sensed what the blank book would mean to you. A fresh start and a new beginning. Letting go of the past. I'm curious to see if you fill it with stories or if you leave it blank, preserving the symbolism.

Want to hear something funny? I always forget what you do for a living. To me, you're just my writer friend T. who has had a rough time and lost many people he loves.(can't use past tense here since you still love them)

*hugs* And man, I bet it was fun staying at the hotel. I would've reacted like Julia, mouth open from the opulence. Or maybe spun in circles in the living room and jumped on the huge king size bed.(well you didn't say anything about the bed, I'm just assuming here) Did you take a bubble bath? I bet a bubble bath would've been lovely in that tub.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 02:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I had a bubbleless night.
spleenless From: spleenless Date: April 20th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fairy Godfather?
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 02:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Ya think?
fairy From: fairy Date: April 20th, 2005 06:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love it "would you mind if we give you the super deluxe fancy suite instead".

ooooo mysteries. The mystery of the sketchbook. I wonder. Have you decided what you are going to do with it?
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm going to watch it very carefully, and wait.
(Deleted comment)
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 03:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Only if someone looks under the mattress.
(Deleted comment)
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)
It was just what I needed at the moment I needed it most.

You think Wall, huh?

From: ex_hotlavamo352 Date: April 20th, 2005 08:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Everyone likes the sketchbook. I just like Pretty Woman.

You should have said that Mickey was your niece.
guysterrules From: guysterrules Date: April 21st, 2005 03:09 am (UTC) (Link)
It's hard enough convincing people that Mickey is even my friend. Maybe if I snapped a jewelry box at her...
mengus From: mengus Date: April 21st, 2005 02:30 am (UTC) (Link)
That sounds like a grand time. Bastard ;)
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